I don’t drink, live with it!

I don’t drink! Alcohol, that is. I don’t drink beer. I don’t drink rum. I don’t drink whisky. I don’t drink vodka, tequila, gin, etc. I don’t even drink wine (though, to be fair after having had ice wine, I might on occasion be willing to make an exception just for that). It’s not that I have never had alcohol. I have tasted beer, rum, whisky, etc. I never liked its taste – not any of them (other than ice wine). This, added to the belief that drink is harmful to health, has made it more or less certain that I don’t drink.

People are continually surprised that I don’t drink. Especially when they hear that I come from an armed forces family, with everyone else in my family quite willing to have a drink. They find it really strange that I don’t drink- particularly since liquor can be available so cheaply to me.

But, if they were just surprised, that would be fine. Unfortunately, a great many of them, try to show me the errors of my way by insisting that I drink. Even people I have known for years will say – “just one drink, yaar. What difference will one drink make? Dil rakhne ke liye pee le – ek ghoont.”

And then with others there’s the emotional blackmail - “yaar, I just got /promoted/. At least now you have to have a drink” (replace “promoted” by “engaged”, “a new job”, “admission” or a 100 other things. There’s always a reason to drink…especially a “once in a lifetime” occurrence for them – which happens every few months- which is meant to be reason enough for me to drink). And when I keep refusing, they get hurt!

Imagine the irony of it – you are forcing me to do something I don’t want to do…and when I successfully resist, you get aggrieved. It’s like a thief being annoyed that a householder tried to stop him from robbing the family jewels –“look at the nerve of the guy. I was peacefully getting along with the opening of the safe and he sneaks up from behind with a gun and says ‘hands up’. Whatever happened to ‘atithi devo bhava?’”

I can still deal with the friends- if nothing else works, one just tells them to go take a walk . The real problem happens when the parents of friends try to get me to have a drink. In some cases, the parents themselves drink, so they perhaps believe that they must offer it to everyone around. More interesting is when the parents themselves do not drink but have a son or daughter who does drink. Maybe they feel that I am saying no out of respect for them - perhaps they cannot believe that their son/daughter has a friend who does not drink. One could get a statement like – “we don’t mind it if you drink…we are quite open minded”. Clearly, if one refuses to drink, they go away with the impression that this person is just being polite and is actually a drunkard of the highest order.

But the worst can be at work events- if you have got a pushy boss…or worse, a pushy client. I have never had a really pushy boss or client, so I have been lucky. But I have had some of them give me a look when I order an orange juice at the bar.

A colleague of mine, Mark, gave me this advice a few years ago for work get togethers – “Never order an orange juice, Sancho- rather, go for a coke. People will think you are having a rum and coke and let you be”

In a sense, that is fairly sound advice. It could avoid some slight discussion and a lot of déjà vu for me. However, the fundamental question still remains – why can’t people let teetotalers be? Nobody would keep pushing a vegetarian to have non vegetarian food. No one would try to force onions on a Jain if either one knew that he did not have such food or if he said so. Many people I know refuse to eat seafood and normally, beyond a casual “why is that?”, most people don’t care. Why then this urge of drinkers to ensure that non drinkers are made to drink? Psychologically speaking, what are the deep-rooted neuroses which cause drinkers to try and make others drink?

Whatever it is, if you are one of them, I urge you to desist. Take a deep breath and say to yourself “There are others who do not drink. And it is fine. It is not my job to convert the entire world to be followers of Bacchus.” Remember that tolerance is not just about other’s religious views. It is about being okay with people who have different views from you – in any area of life. And it is about living harmoniously and happily with all such people. It is about agreeing to disagree. I don’t drink. Live with it!